The 7-Foot Kid

A simple smile, a nod, or a word of kindness can change someone’s day — and your own. One small moment at the gym reminded me that being seen is the greatest gift we can give each other.

Go through life trying to make people smile.
You’ll be much happier.

Trying to make someone smile
is really about acknowledging them —
their choices, their self-expression.
It shows you care,
even for a stranger.

In my experience,
it only ever makes everyone feel better.

I do this at the gym all the time.
One day, I saw this huge, scary-looking guy
flexing in the mirror.
I gave him a thumbs-up and said,
“Looking good.”

He melted.

Turned out he was a 22-year-old kid
who started lifting after a girl broke his heart.

I carry that kid everywhere I go.
He shapes how I talk to people —
how I see them.

It’s hard sometimes,
being able to really see people for who they are.
It’s so obvious to you.
But you don’t always get it back.

You feel like you see everyone,
but nobody sees you.
Lonely — I know.

But then you get the chance
to say “nice hat” to an old timer
and make his day.

Or ask a kid what they’re watching on their iPad
and wait patiently as they tell you.
I mean, I’m not really interested in what they’re saying —
I’m interested that they find it interesting.
I like to know why.

Maybe that’s why,
at almost fifty,
I started painting my nails.

It makes me feel open.
And it signals to others:
nothing to fear here —
just a guy who likes people
to express themselves.

But when I don’t feel seen,
I think of a seven-foot-tall black kid
who made me feel better about myself
because I saw him.