The Shit You Ask Us to Do

(And Why We Procrastinate)(And Why We Procrastinate)

Hey ladies — I need to talk to you for a minute.

Us guys? We’ve been talking. And there’s something about the whole “honey-do list” thing that needs a little reframing.

It’s not that we’re lazy.
It’s not that we don’t care.
It’s not that we don’t want to make you happy.

It has nothing to do with motivation.

It has everything to do with limits, capability, confidence — and the fact that we’re modern men who genuinely don’t know how to do half the stuff you’re asking us to do.

Take me, for example.

For a living, I kick and punch.
You ask me to kick and punch — I’m good.
I can do that on the spot.
I can do it in my sleep.
And trust me, I have.

That’s my craft.
That’s my “hang a TV.”

But then you ask me to actually hang a TV.

And suddenly I’m supposed to be an expert at finding studs, drilling into walls, hoisting an expensive object over my head, lining it up perfectly, and hoping I don’t destroy drywall, wiring, or the TV itself.

What makes me the expert in that?

I get it — I grew up poor. I can figure it out.
But that doesn’t make it second nature.

And unlike loading the dishwasher, there are real consequences if I screw this up.
If the dishwasher’s wrong, you run it again.
If I miss a stud, I’m patching holes and replacing a screen.

The install guys make it look easy.
Of course they do.
That’s their kicking and punching.

So when we hesitate, it’s not resistance.
It’s respect — for the task, the risk, and the fact that competence actually matters.
Sometimes what looks like avoidance is really just a man knowing where his confidence ends.

And just because we’re lying on the bed scrolling on our phones doesn’t mean we aren’t working on it.

Yeah, we might be on Instagram — but somewhere in the background there’s a plan forming. What goes where. When it needs to get done. What it’s going to take. What the risks are if we get it wrong. And half the time we’re on YouTube, not zoning out — learning. Watching three different guys explain the same thing in slightly different ways so we don’t make a mistake that costs money, time, or drywall.

Because let’s be real — most of the stuff you do around the house is just stuff that needs to get done. Important, yes. But it doesn’t require a blueprint.

The stuff you hand us is different.
It needs figuring out.
It has variables.
It has consequences.

So here’s a trade I’d gladly make:
give me some of the routine stuff,
and let me take the problems that need thinking.

That sounds like a break to me.
I’ll watch TV and fold laundry for a while — while I figure out how not to drop a 65-inch television on the floor.

And the TV?
It’s for your mom — who I love.
And who’s the grandmother to our son.

You think I don’t want to do it?

She’s not going to be here for three more weeks.
And sure, the job itself is “half an hour.”

Half an hour once everything is ready.

In reality it’s three hours.
A few trips to Home Depot.
A different mount than the one in the box.
Screws that don’t match the wall.
A wall that doesn’t match the instructions.

So when I don’t jump up immediately, it’s not avoidance.
It’s sequencing.

I’m fitting it into the mental calendar — what has to happen first, what can wait, what needs daylight, what needs a second set of hands.

I want it done right.
I want it safe.
I want it solid.
And I want it to still be on the wall a year from now.

So yeah — it’s coming.
Not because I was pushed.
But because I care enough to think it through first.